27 November 09 - 17:19Is it because you don't have a good pickup line...?
One thing I know is critically important to every guy out there is his level of confidence. It bleeds over into EVERY part of your life. Even in the smallest ways. Think about this situation for a second:
You're in the grocery store looking at cuts of beef in the meat department. In one hand, you've got 2 pounds of ground beef. Okay, ANY guy can make a hamburger with a pile of ground beef. You've got a LOT of confidence you can turn that into something you can eat later on. But in your other hand, you've got beef tri-tip. Now, you've never cooked this cut of steak before. You're not sure how to cook it, in fact. This would probably require some internet research and a little trial and error, and it probably still might not turn out that great.
So which do you end up choosing?
Well your confidence level says that it would probably be the hamburger, right? Even though you know the Tri-tip steak would be a better tasting and more satisfying cut, your confidence ...
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08 October 09 - 19:11How to Get Social and Get Friends?
This week's question is one that I've received from a bunch of
guys, and I want to answer it for you today. You'll find this
information helpful in understanding how to create the social life you want.
QUESTION: What do you do if you have no social circle?
Hello Carlos,
I appreciate your taking the time to read this question and also for all of your programs. I have read the Dating Black Book (multiple times) and it was a huge help. I received today's daily e-mail from you and it really struck a chord - the message revolved around the "Three Universal Steps to Improving Your Dating Skills".
Unfortunately, Carlos, I'm stuck at Step 1. I'm NOT putting myself
in social situations and places where I can meet women on a regular
basis. Of course, I understand that this is my fault, for which I
take responsibility.
HOWEVER...here's the situation: I'm 38 and single. I'm ...
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Have you heard of Sun Tzu? He was
one of the most famous military strategists of all
time. His book "The
Art of War" has been used in every conceivable field
of education - and I've been using it for years to teach
guys the basics of how to approach women and how to talk
to women more effectively.
Sun Tzu was also probably the world's best pickup artist.
A lot of guys dismiss the use of text messages as unnecessary and believe that texting should never be used in lieu of proper phone conversation. Despite this opinion, rising statistics suggest that text messaging as a communication tool is growing rapidly. Nine years ago, in 2000, about 17 billion messages were sent. By 2004 that number had risen to 500 billion. This equals about 100 text messages for every person in the world!
A healthy percentage of those billions of texts were likely sent out by women, so while it's clear every guy who is dating should embrace this communication tool and put it to work, the question of what to say remains. A text of "Hey what's up?" leaves a woman in the awkward situation of creating the value for this interaction. Instead of asking these open ended questions, you should use your text to bring value to her day.
Imagine that the woman you're about to text is sitting at her workplace bored. It should be your goal to ...
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Carlos, I just got your Dating Black Book and I wish I would have gotten it a week earlier. I am very confused by this fun and pretty girl. We met at a party, I laid low for a few days, then asked her to come with me to a fashion show (she's a print model so I knew she would come). The date went well and we had dinner after the show, she asked all the questions that showed she was interested in me (my family, background, goals, etc). We made out, got way too drunk, then I took her back to her place and I kissed her good night, and told her I wanted to come in, but I never do that on the first date, she looked confused but relieved at the same time. Clearly that doesn't happen to her often.
We had some flirty texts the following week and I thought she was into me. ...
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I flirted some with a female security guard at a bank and she out of the blue came up to me and asked me if I was buying lunch. I have read that you shouldn't buy lunch until you get closer to being intimate with someone. I said well, "I could" but was then interrupted and had to leave.
From that point on she changed her attitude and became very "professional" in her actions, and now she just nods her head when I speak or wave to her when I see her. I don't know whether to continue to flirt with her or just keep my distance keep it on the "professional" relationship with her and let it go at that.
What did I do wrong to offend her? Was it I refused to buy lunch? I did ask her out after that and she just said she was busy that weekend.
