I recently had a "lightbulb" moment that I wanted to share with you. It occured to me when I got a letter from one guy. I think you'll find this really interesting, especially if you've ever heard someone tell you to "be confident" with women.
Read my answer to that person's letter;
Carlos, I've had a lot of experiences walking up and talking with women. Some good, some bad. What I'm wondering is, how do I stay confident - no matter what?
It seems like my mood and my skills are always up and down. Some nights I can walk up to any woman and say Hi, and other times I can't seem to make conversation with a blabbermouth. Have you ever had this experience? How do you keep your confidence up?
- John C.
Valdosta, GA.
CARLOSXUMA ANSWERS:
Well, John, I'm here to tell you that what you're talking about ...
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26 June 08 - 20:21Do you know how to talk to women the RIGHT way?
QUESTION: How do you talk to women?
Man I know that someone has asked you this before, but for a refresher I was wondering when and what questions are good to dodge from women.
I was good enough to meet her and get her number, then once we started talking on the phone I felt as I was getting the third degree. For the most part I don't offer to much information at all.
She asked me where I worked work, my age, my middle name??, and the normal stuff you would expect when you get to know someone. But I felt a few RED flags were raised on a few of the simple questions. Like where I work. I basically let her pull the information out of me. She asked me I told her the City, She asked again I told her the company, She asked again I told her the department and then I moved on to me asking her what she did.
I don't think that I messed up too bad since she has called me again. But I need to know how to handle this situation.
25 June 08 - 01:05Q & A: When a woman goes cold on you, what do you do?
READER QUESTION:
Carlos....man, do I have a good one for you. I have been using your Alpha Man Persuasion and conversation, for a little over a week now, and it has almost rectified a sour situation. I live in Chile, South America. I have lived here for about a month and a half. I have been dating this GORGEOUS 23 year old. Yes, I know red flag because she's still a little young and doesn't quite know what she wants yet. Also she has only been in one other relationship before me, for like 5 years, and it ended like 3 months ago.
Everything was going fantastic until a week ago. She broke down crying and said she had many problems "with her heart" (in spanish of course) from the previous relationship. It was quite the bummer.
Now since then, we have gone from that to slowing down, to full on dating again, yet she is still hesistant to have the type of close relationship we almost had. I don't understand this. ...
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20 June 08 - 22:49How To Approach Women -- Video Interview by Carlos Xuma
Carlos sits down and talks with a beautiful woman about how men
approach women, and how men should definitely NOT approach women.
Listen for some real insights into the experiences of women so that you
can improve your dating skills and learn pickup techniques that do not
require you to be a pickup artist!
To find out the rest and how to DESTROY your approach fears, click here
15 June 08 - 18:51Do nice guys really get the girl?
What Is An Alpha Man?
He's the prodigal "seducer," if you will. The Model is an example that we can
use to illustrate the best case scenario. The Ideal. (Kind of like how Michaelangelo's statue of David exemplifies the perfection of the human form.)
You see, the average guy can't
make a quantum leap and BECOME the Alpha all at once. It's not that simple. He needs an idea
of what this goal is that he's pursuing
that gives him the result of "I'M
SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN."
The Alpha Model
provides him with a framework - a picture to draw in his mind of the attitude he's after. ...
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11 June 08 - 20:02Do you really need to be good looking to attract women?
I got this question from a guy that I thought you would want to see. It's a great way to illustrate that just because you've got good looks does NOT mean you'reautomatically going to be successful with women. In fact, if you're good looking, it can actually work AGAINST you.
Read on...
QUESTION:My rating on hotornot.com is 9.4/10, I'm in very good shape and muscular because I work out a lot and take very good care of myself. Chicks dig me, and I definitely turn a lot of heads around. At school I often don't have to do anything for girls to just come and talk to me and be very friendly.
My question is: How can I use my handsomeness to my advantage? Don't I need to somewhat alter the Seduction Method to get a woman?I'll be honest with you, since girls check me out so intensely I tend to freak out and get sort of paralyzed because I know they like me a lot. That sort of scares me so I don't take action. Should I ...
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"Approach Anxiety" is one of the most painful and devastating obstacles to getting together with a woman. This sensation of being afraid to go up and talk to women is actually a very common situation for many guys.
QUESTION:
Hello Carlos,
My understandings on women have changed a lot since I read your books and I have read them several times. I am trying to be the Alpha Man which you insisted we (men) all have to be. I am working on it and to tell you the truth I do feel about better about myself. But, despite reading all your articles, I still get scared to death when I approach women, my thoughts just turn from Alpha to Beta within seconds and I just can't do anything although I already at least have a plan of how I'll get them engaged into the conversation. There are these thoughts and strange stomach feelings which start building up when I start approaching them to talk. ...
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05 June 08 - 20:22Q&A lesson to discuss how to approach women...
QUESTION: At lunch yesterday I saw this really great looking classy girl. She was obviously having lunch with some co-workers, as was I. We made eye contact a few times and exchanged smiles.
How does one go about approaching her? If she "separated from the pack" I could have maybe done something. Is this a lost cause for future encounters of this type?
CARLOS ANSWERS:
Ah, the old "get her away from the pack" question. This is probably one of the most common dilemmas for guys, and it's very discouraging because of the supposed risk of embarrassment. No, it is never a lost cause. Remember, every situation can be handled if you stop and plan in advance. We're human beings - and problem solvers.
In the situation you were found yourself, this gal gave you some definite indications of interest. When you make eye contact and get a smile, you should move in ...
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If you've been around the seduction arena for a while, I'm sure you are familiar with Carlos Xuma. If this is your first encounter with the world of seduction, then even better, because this blog will save you a lot of grief that you might go through with the so called PUAs and their unpractical techniques.
Carlos has a unique perspective on how to be successful in dating. His Dating Dynamics Program is different in that it emphasizes on building your character and personality rather than learning cheap pick-up lines or lame routines.
In this blog, I will share Carlos' philosophy of an "Alpha Man" and how you can use his techniques to not just become an attractive man, but also build a charismatic personality and be a better person. Stay tuned!
