01 March 09 - 22:01Which comes first: Confidence or Techniques?
There's this ongoing debate over the use of 'strategies' or 'techniques' with women. One corner holds that to do anything INTENTIONAL (i.e. display higher value, neg-hit, C&F, whatever) means that you're just not doing it right. They feel you need to come from high self-esteem right off the starting blocks. To use techniques means that you're manipulating and coming from the wrong frame or belief system. But if the "natural" does these things (DHV, neg-hits, teasing, C&F) then it's okay, after all, he's just doing it naturally.In the other corner is the belief that we must HAVE the techniques to learn. We gotta have all the cool openers, and cold reading skills, and cube games, and kino gambits. The more techniques we use, the more we can get the women we want. I'll fake it 'til I make it, the Eager Learner says.
But we also know that without that grounding of self-confidence and self-image, these techniques lose their effectiveness, their sizzle. ... (more)
