Do you freeze when you approach women?
QUESTION:
Hey Carlos,
So I finally decided to take this thing seriously because I feel I have hit a boiling point. I am 20 and I feel that I am just bulls***ting by just reading your stuff but not doing anything. So I found a wingman, and decided that this Thursday, Friday, and Saturday I was going to hit up the clubs with my wingman.
We really have no particular goal in mind, other than just getting out there and trying to approach some women. We did drink a little (not a good idea...i know) and I started just approaching random girls. One thing though that I have noticed that I feel is holding me back tremendously is my anxiety.
I feel almost too anxious to talk to girls. I seriously try to force myself and sometimes I do approach, but sometimes its just too damn hard. When I have been approaching I have been getting mostly the cold shoulder and I just walk away or something. I do feel a sting of rejection but I felt that I have handled it pretty well considering I don't have much experience with women at all and it was a challenge to my self esteem.
What do you think Carlos? Do you have any tips or advice that would help me?
Carlos Answers:
You have the right idea. At some point, you need to just get in there and get your hands dirty. Where you are at this point is needing to get as much experience interacting with people. ALL people. ALL women. Not just hot girls or doing pickup. Your commitment level is where it needs to be, and now you need to practice SPECIFIC strategies to use in approach. Right now you need to aim for the lowest common denominator in your interactions. Meaning that if you are having problems getting the conversation started, get a TON of experience starting conversations with EVERYONE you meet or encounter.
If you're not talking to everyone you are weighting your approaches with anxiety because you think that only certain interactions are worth focusing on, but in reality, NONE of them are. Get to the point where your interactions are not held down by your expectations, then you can move to the next level.
The "Alpha" lesson here is that only by making each conversation unimportant in the grand scheme of things can you then make the next conversation truly important to you AND her.
Learn more about the next level and how to approach women without fear or 'approach anxiety' in the Approach Women NOW program.No comments:
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