How To Improve Your Inner Game..
Have you heard the term "inner game"? Do you know what it means?
There's a lot of terminology thrown around these days, and I wanted to see if you'd heard this one. Essentially, your "OUTER" game is how you interact with women. What you say, how you handle body language, tone of voice, etc. It's everything outside your head. And "INNER" game refers to all the stuff that's going on inside your head when you interact with women.
What are you thinking? How high is your anxiety? Are you nervous, or are you calm? Can you think of what you need to say when it's the right time to say it? Or do you find yourself fumbling for words? Are you able to stay loose, or do you get very self-conscious?
Now, I could make this into a long and drawn out seminar on the meaning and definition of inner game, but it doesn't need to be complicated at all. Inner game is really just this:
Your SELF-CONFIDENCE.
There are strategies and tactics, specific things you can say to a woman, but these aren't really as important as your overall level of self-confidence. Have you ever wondered why it is that certain guys get away with more in life? I don't mean bad things, like getting away with a bank robbery or anything like that. What I'm talking about is SOCIAL LIBERATION. Social Liberation is the ability to "get away" with more when you're interacting with people.
Some guys just seem to be able to speak their mind about anything. Sometimes they even seem arrogant, but the difference is that they're respected. They have the ability to assert themselves in a conversation, with men or women, and not appear like a dumb tool. They are the ones that people listen to, primarily because they seem to have a sense of passion. They seem to know what they're talking about, and come across with conviction. You may not always agree with them, but you do respect them.
It doesn't matter if the guy is just pushing forward with his goals in life, or he's busy with a social calendar. He's got a life you almost envy. What makes him so different than you or me? or any guy for that matter?
Back to the topic of inner game...
Do you ever find that, after you read a bunch of the "lines" and strategies from e-books and other dating guides, and you go out and use them, that you're missing something? When you approach a woman and start to talk to her, do you feel as if you're on shaky ground? That if she were to ask you, "are you picking up on me?" you'd probably crumble and lose your nerve? You'd feel like you were "caught"? Found out? Do you ever feel that just learning the tactics isn't quite enough? That there's something missing that would really give you more success?
You're not alone. I felt this way, too. For about five years, I was on this self-improvement binge. I was reading every book on relationships and dating that I could to find out how this thing worked. I mean, you know I'm a very analytical guy, and there was a part of me that knew that female attraction could be understood. Not in a mathematical formula, or some chemical recipe, but in a way that would unlock the whole psychology of what was going on in a woman's mind.
See if this is sounds familiar to you:
I watched women do all their weird, illogical things, like flaking on dates, or not calling, or telling me that they wanted to be friends only, and I got more and more frustrated. Yes, the frustration was partly because I felt like I was NEVER getting anywhere and my goal of attracting beautiful women and getting a quality girlfriend was like a carrot dangled just out of my grasp. But there was something else.
I noticed that it seemed like every time a woman did flake on me, or didn't call, or wanted to just be friends......well, it was weird, but I felt the reason always had something to do with ME. Even if I didn't understand what was going on, and it didn't make any logical sense, it was actually kind of consistent. Like *I* was doing something in there that made them react this way. I started to see that it wasn't as important what she was thinking inside, or that I unlock that code, but that if I did CERTAIN THINGS, I'd get similar results.
If I called her too much, I noticed that she would stop calling me. If I tried really hard to impress her, she would pull away and not seem as interested. If I wasn't that interested in her, and I didn't come on very interested, she seemed to have more interest in me. If I was occasionally outrageous in my behavior (bratty, loud, cocky), she would be more interested. So I suddenly realized that there were things that I could do to get her to behave in certain ways. She was reacting to how *I* was acting.
But here's the BIG realization: If I did these things without really believing in them, they didn't work. I once called this one girl up that I thought was losing interest in me, and told her that I wasn't as into her anymore, and that I wasn't sure if I should see her anymore, just to manipulate her into feeling more attraction for me. After that, she told me that it would be a good idea not to talk for a week. And I called her back again that night. (I just couldn't stop myself - I felt like I was losing her). And she dumped me by the end of the week.
Now, you probably recognize this as a common strategy for guys to play "hard to get." But what I was missing was that I didn't have the self-confidence behind those words. When I told her I didn't think we she should see each other, I REALLY thought inside that I was going to be heartbroken if she left me. I didn't believe in what I was saying, and she could see it a mile away.What I ended up doing after I went through all that misery was finding a bunch of books and tapes on self-improvement. I piled this stuff up and listened to it every day. I read the books every day.
I had a bunch of friends that got girls all the time, and these dudes were pretty "below-average". And I finally figured out what was missing in my "game" with women. It was ME. Not my looks or my clothes, or any external stuff. I just wasn't prepared to present myself to a woman with self-confidence, because I had never really taken the time to figure it out for myself. Every time I learned a new "trick" to attract a woman, I was really just loading a gun I didn't know how to aim or hold correctly. So the women would see through it and I'd fail.
And I got more and more frustrated and desperate with every failure. I found that when I was truly happy being alone (meaning that I stopped really NEEDING women in my life to complete me and my image of me), the ladies started getting interested in me.
It was weird. It was as if someone had just tapped me on the shoulder with a magic wand and changed my view on the whole man-woman thing. It took me YEARS to get my inner game fixed. From my downfall to my recovery, there was a LOT of pain, my brothers. I would spare you that.
If you've read my e-books, you know how much I emphasize that there are things that you can do and say (tools, strategies), and there are also INTERNAL ATTITUDES that must be under your control to be successful with women. For the longest time, I didn't know how to explain how to improve that INNER GAME. I couldn't find the way to explain how to improve your SELF-CONFIDENCE.
Then it hit me like a thunderbolt....Wham!
I could just outline all the RIGHT things I did to fix my inner game. Just the stuff that WORKED. None of the crap that didn't, like going to a therapist to talk about my inner child, how I have unresolved abandonment issues. I could just outline a roadmap of what I did to get success, and make it as versatile as possible, so that ANY guy could use it and succeed. And the one thing I could do differently is to include information on the one self-confidence builder that every other author leaves out.
How to be successful with women AT THE SAME TIME.
I mean, let's be real here. The ONE big thing that improves a man's self-confidence the most is to do well with women. And since this skill also requires that a man get that self-confidence, you can't separate them. They're all part of the same DYNAMIC! This was really eye opening to me, and I hope you see what I'm getting at my BIG realization. You can't get better with women without improving your inner game (your self-confidence). And you can't improve your inner game without improving your skill with women. They both work together, like chocolate and peanut butter in a Reese's Peanut Butter cup.
When I had gone through the right steps of self-improvement, it had these side effects:
- I had raised my annual income by 500% (No joke. I watched it double and triple when my confidence increased). I went all the way to Vice-President of a major corporation.
- I was able to do the things I wanted to do in life, like jump out of a plane and parachute, and go to Italy, and get my black belt, and drive in a racing school.
- I got along better with my family, and when it came time to take care of someone close to me in her illness, I was able to handle everything with strength.
- I got a wider social circle of friends who cared about me, and that increased the amount of love in my life overall.
- I got rid of that shaky insecurity, and suddenly nobody intimidated me anymore.
- I was just plain HAPPY.
There's a saying attributed to a famous multi-millionaire: "Getting to be a millionaire was EASY. It was BELIEVING I could that took years."
I want to share what I learned with you, but I'm running out of space here. I want you to take a look at my Alpha Man home study program. It's all about how to fix that inner game once and for all. There are 6 CDs of audio, a HUGE workbook, and a couple more bonuses I'll even throw in for you. I'm convinced that you can have all the success you want from life if you just go get it.
Success is not a pie with only so many slices. It's a bottomless well that you only have to discover for yourself. Take a look at the web page and read the success stories of all the guys that have managed to turn their lives around for the better.
I believe that every man has a well like this created for him when he came into this world. All you have to do is find it and claim it. (Hint: it's closer than you think)
The Secrets of the Alpha Man program is THE map to finding yours.
I wish you success with women, your career, your family, your hobbies... EVERYTHING.
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