How to Destroy Your Shyness...
QUICK TIP:"Approach Anxiety" is one of the most painful and devastating obstacles to getting together with a woman. This sensation of being afraid to go up and talk to women is actually a very common situation for many guys.
QUESTION:
Hello Carlos,
My understandings on women have changed a lot since I read your books and I have read them several times. I am trying to be the Alpha Man which you insisted we (men) all have to be. I am working on it and to tell you the truth I do feel about better about myself. But, despite reading all your articles, I still get scared to death when I approach women, my thoughts just turn from Alpha to Beta within seconds and I just can't do anything although I already at least have a plan of how I'll get them engaged into the conversation. There are these thoughts and strange stomach feelings which start building up when I start approaching them to talk.
Now I am at home, just got back from a New Years party, sad, depressed and ashamed of myself. I cannot express in words how bad
I am feeling now after having seen all those beautiful women in the party but could still not do anything. I realise this is affecting my life because I feel lonely and this is not a problem I can talk to anyone to feel better, what's even worse is my close ones do not even try to understand what my problem is.
I can change to become or at least pretend that I am an Alpha Man but the moment I see an attractive woman this all disappears and I
come back to being a beta. I am writing this e-mail to you probably because no one understands this awful problem of mine better than you. Did you ever find yourself in this situation? If yes then what did you do to overcome this?
- Ranjiv
Reading, United Kingdom
CARLOS XUMA EXPLAINS "APPROACH ANXIETY":
Well, first of all, let me tell you that the experience you are having is a common one for many guys.
When I say "many," I really mean MOST every single guy out there. Very few guys do not feel this fear of women. The ones that do
approach are simply getting past their fear. So when you try to explain to other guys what you're experiencing, many of them simply DENY that it is even happening. It's crazy, but most guys don't want other guys knowing that they feel fear approaching and talking to women.
It seems un-manly. And it can really be humiliating. I know I had a TOUGH time admitting it when I had this problem. (Yes, I have had
this experience hundreds of times in the past). Well, it's funny, but most guys have this epiphany over the New Years holiday that they are not getting the success they feel they should with women. It's pointed out by the fact that they don't have a date for the party they went to, and then it's really forced into their gut when.....
To find out the rest and how to DESTROY your approach fears, click here
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