Do you really need to be good looking to attract women?
I got this question from a guy that I thought you would want to see. It's a great way to illustrate that just because you've got good looks does NOT mean you'reautomatically going to be successful with women. In fact, if you're good looking, it can actually work AGAINST you.
Read on...
QUESTION:My rating on hotornot.com is 9.4/10, I'm in very good shape and muscular because I work out a lot and take very good care of myself. Chicks dig me, and I definitely turn a lot of heads around. At school I often don't have to do anything for girls to just come and talk to me and be very friendly.
My question is: How can I use my handsomeness to my advantage? Don't I need to somewhat alter the Seduction Method to get a woman?I'll be honest with you, since girls check me out so intensely I tend to freak out and get sort of paralyzed because I know they like me a lot. That sort of scares me so I don't take action. Should I still ask for phone numbers and use the normal Method or because of my looks should I behave in a specific and different way?
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
I'm thinking we should chip in for this poor guy so he can get some plastic surgery and look like the rest of us. First of all, as you can see, just being good looking does NOT assure you of success with women. In fact, it will often leave you at a disadvantage, since you may get an early success or two and not realize what it was you did, or how to repeat it.Having good looks is like having a slight head start on the racetrack of attraction.
It's a bonus, but it does not mean an easy win. As I always say, beware of the easy success. You never learn from it the same way you do through the difficult successes (or the failures). You're never forced to analyze and understand what's really going on, and as a result, your bad habits stick with you a lot longer.So the question is, do your looks help or hinder you?And do you need to change your behavior?
Well, being good looking is a double-edged sword. You see, initially, it helps you because you have an immediate "chemistry" with more women. They have a higher interest and attraction level in you right off the bat. On the other hand, your looks work against you when women wonder, "Is he just a player? Does he really want ME or a notch in his belt?"As I'm sure you've noticed, just because you've got the looks doesn't mean that you're going to get women falling all over you. You still have to do the right things in the right proportion, as I teach here and in my program.
I suspect that your reluctance is working to your benefit (when you "freak out," as you say). You've got a little humility. And this translates as an endearing form of "hard-to-get."Good. That's what you need to keep doing. The second you start to get too cocky and arrogant about your looks, the women will sense this and put up a few "trust hurdles" right away. Women immediately distrust a man that gives off an ultra-smooth presentation.
You need to be smooth without appearing as if you're smooth. You can still use my Tease-to-Please technique and bust their balls (in fact, that's mandatory), but you shouldn't joke as much about your "devastating good looks" or how she should just be dying to spend time with you - even sarcastically.
Turn down any cockiness a notch. That kind of behavior will likely backfire with a good-looking guy.Instead, turn up the humor and ball-busting. These will work wonders for you, by challenging the women and heightening that sexual tension through frustration.
The key points here are:
1) Keep doing the things you normally would to meet up women. Get phone numbers and dates.
2) Back off on the things that might make them think you're too full of yourself. Beware too much cockiness and arrogance.
3) Challenge women a little more. Divert their attention from your looks to their inner feelings of desire.
4) Play up your value by playing hard-to-get. Joking with her about how you're "not easy" and the like will only improve your perceived value in her eyes.
Remember, skills in attracting beautiful women aren't programmed into your DNA. It DOESN'T come naturally, no matter what you might think by watching the other "studs" out there. Just because you're a guy - or a handsome guy - doesn't mean you know this stuff. So keep doing the right things in the right order.There are so many skills to the dating game, some are subtle and need to be honed, like the instincts that most women take for granted. Wouldn't you like to develop your fine sense of interpretation with women? To pick up on the same signals she can?
Wouldn't you like to know:
** When a woman is playing you or really interested?
** How to interpret her body language? And how do you best present your own?
** How do you get them attracted to you?
** How to stop paying for dates that go NOWHERE?
These were questions I wanted answers to for YEARS, and I finally decided that I was going to get them. I started reading all the books in the bookstore on the topic. When I realized they didn't have the information I needed, I started looking for books that talked about pickups and techniques and the "taboo" information that you couldn't find anywhere else. (I started learning this before there was an Internet, but not TOO long before. :)
I have spent years and years out there getting battered, deep-fried, and served up as a meal ticket in the world of dating, and there's no reason why you should have to. I wrote down everything I learned and put it in a book so that guys could read it and skip past all that PAIN.
Really, do you want another year of confusion and poor results to stop you from getting the women you deserve?I've talked to guys the world over who have made a REAL difference in their lives by taking the first step on the right path - learning. Once you understand, your world opens up.
Go here and download your copy of The Dating Black Book:
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